in an accidental meeting of body parts
my fingertips brush against you
there’s a faint flutter of eyelashes
and a flash in the eye that couples with a soft, sideways smirk
one innocent kiss
that leaves a heavy breath between us
in the stillness of our lips nearly touching
yet giving the impression of contact
our embrace lingers
and i inhale the scent of your neck
and trace along that fine line with my tongue
as i feel you harden against me
There are many things I have set out to accomplish in creating this life of mine. (which I am totally digging, by the way …)
I made a list of things about my Self that I found, well … lacking. My breasts, the one true body issue I have had the past several years, made it on the list. See, I’m a slim chick and have always had rather smallish, but well-formed breasts. ”What happened?” … MOTHERHOOD. Ya … you heard me …
I went from a very average size bosom to (pardon me) gi-normous breasts during my pregnancy/breastfeeding cycles. After 3 kids, it takes a toll … Actually, they never truly recovered after the first kid, but I digress …
The point is, I was self-conscious. Saggy, deflated … these were the words I used to describe the essence of my nurturing mother-self. I used to fantasize about a solid C cup, but do not personally believe augmentation is appropriate for me (the person who preaches radical self-acceptance and self-love). So, instead I silently prayed “Please, God … just fill them back in …” Trying breast massage, and reading about creams; I would decry the tragic irony of the universe. “I nursed 3 children! You’d think I’d get rewarded with a splendid rack! But, no …”
So, it’s settled then … this is what I’ve got. Time for me to love the ladies. Setting the intention, I stopped all negative self-talk about my breasts. So they’re small … so they aren’t voluptuous … They gave life and nourishment to 3 amazing people, caressed and seduced lovers, gave countless numbers of hugs, and are guardians to the seat of this woman’s spirit … the heart. They nurture, love, fulfill … and if I don’t love them, who will?
So, these mini goddesses of mine … I love them very much. They’ve been with me for quite a while now, and I finally know to treat them with the proud dignity, love and respect they deserve. They’re soft, sensual, sexy as hell, and quite beautiful actually.
I may be slim on the outside, but I’m voluptuous on the inside … and that’s what really counts. Right, ladies?
Today, I challenged my Facebook friends to do one thing BIG today. “Anything,” I said, “as long as it is big enough to take you out of your Self.”
Knowing, that I can’t offer a challenge like that without also stepping up to the plate, I have decided to come out in a BIG way and say I am working on a book. (well, two, actually … ) Looking back at my life as I near my 40th birthday, I asked myself “What lessons have been most important for me?” Those seven topics have now become chapters, which in turn are becoming lectures.
I don’t plan on just telling people what to do to live a happy life. Inestead, I’m offering the lessons and tools I learned along the way as a support for their process of being human.
Learning to distinguish the Self (ego) from the Being (soul) and living a grateful, happy life in Love is what I have learned … and what I hope to share.
The other book? Poetry 
Now, go do something BIG! Today and every day …
Blessed be …
rituals and sex
occupying equal space
alongside ponderings of
“Does true love even exist?”
and “Is there such a thing as a love of a lifetime?”
i ask not because i haven’t been a witness
but because i have yet to participate
it is of my own doing …
it is of my own doing …
letting my subconscious mind interfere
either too accepting or not accepting enough
rushing headlong or mechanically pushing away
or perhaps it’s true
i’ve been breaking through karma
and learning my lessons
in an attempt to purify my soul
for that one final divine connection
and perhaps not a single bit of this matters
completion and wholeness are in me
but i think it’s that very fact
that makes me want to cuddle
inside
a big sloppy heart
beats
knocking down walls
so i can love more fully
everyone and everything
pardon
the pulsing mess
inside
it’s still growing
I AM
a bunch of atoms
circling through space
no real end and no beginning
invisible made visible
through energy light and intention
bringing form to thought
the creation
of the
being
that
I AM
you lift me beyond
my self to the unknown place
through your touch, your lips
caressing the soft center
my love joining ecstasy
hips and hearts combine
riding the wave eye to eye
panting and breathless
heat melting us into one
joined shiver, a sigh, then stillness
We are in a constant battle with the voices in our head and the ony way out is through diligent awareness, presence, and perseverance.
It is amazing what we are able to convince ourselves; talking ourselves into and out of jobs, activities, relationships. “This is good for me. I shouldn’t do that. Oh, that will never work.” Placing values and judgements on every situation, every person that comes into our lives. More often than not, these judgements are counterproductive. They prevent us from exploring things that may actually be beneficial, while allowing us to justify situations, people, and ideas that may not be in our highest good.
Falling in love, for instance, we usually notice all the great things about the one we love and have a tendency to overlook their less fine qualities. When a relationship ends, however, we have a tendency to do the opposite. Looking primarily at our partners’ weaknesses rather than strengths in an attempt to dull the pain of separation and to justify the end of the relationship. This also allows us to shift blame onto the partner instead of paying attention to our contribution to the story of the relationship. Because, our inner storyteller has already created all the scenarios based on our hopes and fears. In truth, we likely had clues that the relationship would or wouldn’t work.
Once we start noticing these stories, asking questions is the best way to begin diffusing the internal story-teller. Such as: “Where do these judgements come from?” Usually, the answer is conditioning … our life patterns echoing their way through our thoughts. This is where the consciousness of our parents, teachers, family, friends, and societal conditioning comes in to play.
“Is this idea coming from a place of fear or love?” Most often, the stories we tell ourselves are in an attempt to protect our emotions (guarding). After we ask the questions and listen for the answers, we can then face the fears that arise. Noticing, but not enabling them. All choices are best coming from a place pure of love.
I personally call these story threads “wagon wheel tracks.” The wheels of my brain spinning in the same place time and again, creating deep grooves in my thought process. Depending on how many times a thought has been followed (how deep the groove is), determines how much effort is involved in creating a new pathway. When I catch myself following these wagon tracks, I say “Cancel, Delete!” Then usually finding my awareness was in the past or future, I bring myself back to this very moment. The act of becoming HERE & NOW is so powerful in eradicating fear and negative thought patterns, because usually none of it exists at this exact moment. Besides, it is so much easier to deal with things one at a time, as they present themselves in each moment.
When I find my brain overcrowded with thoughts, I take a deep breath, meditate, bring my awareness to HERE & NOW, and watch the thoughts trickle down into only things that are absolutely necessary … or nothing at all, which gives me all the space I need to allow love, gratitude, and compassion to come in.
Love, gratitude, and compassion are key to creating new stories. Creating … starting from scratch. Every single one of us has the opportunity of making this choice every moment. If we can separate ourselves from the stories conditioned within us, and focus on love (because gratitude and compassion are aspects of love) then we’ll find our stories will be without judgement, challenges will become learning experiences, and life suddenly seems much more free.
As it is 
Judd, as YouthAIDS Global Ambassador, speaks at an event in South Africa (January 2005) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This week Miss Ruby Slippers sent me an article on pussy bleach…I also received an email from a young man asking me if I thought that the veins on his penis might repel women. Let’s break this down…there is a company promoting a product that a) contains a well-known…
long lonely hallway
leading to a set of stairs
with a small window
sometimes it’s light
usually it’s dark
I bounce my ball while Redbeard laughs in the basement.
shaking the small house
his lighted lab shines through vents
that turn into chutes
I don’t wanna slide
to where he waits
I bounce my ball while Redbeard laughs in the basement.
slowly, cautiously
looking for a way back home
eyeing the window
knowing the light
brings me to safety
I bounce my ball while Redbeard laughs in the basement.
