He sometimes calls me Princess. I’ve never been a princess, nor have I ever really known how to be a princess. But, love, he is patiently teaching me. I know it sounds crazy, but to allow someone to love me enough to cater to me is quite out of my element. I have only just recently begun loving myself enough to believe I deserve it.
It’s been quite a laborious process, delving as deep as possible into my psyche. Generally, it’s an area we prefer to avoid, the labyrinth of emotion that causes us to make the choices we do. However, I am determined to discover all the hidden treasures that lie beneath the blocks I created that are keeping me from fully embracing success in all aspects of my life.
So, back to love. He tells me to stay in bed, enjoy a slow and comfortable morning, while he makes coffee and shovels the driveway, kissing my head and calling me princess on his way out. I find myself not only cared for, but catered to.
At the very beginning, I told him I wasn’t used to accepting graciousness, gifts, and kindnesses. I had only just become comfortable with compliments. He asked me if I wanted him to stop, reminding me that those actions are just his way of showing love. Instead, I took a deep breath. Several, in fact, as he continued to give, and I continued to let him.
Some may say “What’s the big deal?”. Well, a lifetime of low self-worth coupled with the partners that lack of self-love and acceptance drew into my life caused me to be inexperienced in receiving. I’m a giver, a mother, a healer, and to make myself sit down and let someone take care of me, pamper me took some getting used to.
Now, I’ll wear the princess crown. I have finally come to the place of love and acceptance of myself that has drawn to me a partner worthy of my giving heart. He is ready to receive all the love I have to give, and ready to give all the love I am now open to receiving. I’m totally capable of taking care of myself, but now it’s time to allow someone else to as well. So, yes, he can do the dishes while I lavish in kitten cuddles. Yes, he can give me presents. Yes, I do all the same for him in return. Afterall, he’s allowed to be a prince as well.